Click here to a sermon I gave at Christ Church New Malden on the 11 August. The sermon series is called, "A Christian who has changed my life." I chose to talk about Alan Caldwell, my father-in-law. Katy's dad.
Here's the reading used in the service.
Ephesians 3:14-21
For this reason I kneel before the Father, from whom every family in heaven and on earth derives its name. I pray that out of his glorious riches he may strengthen you with power through his Spirit in your inner being, so that Christ may dwell in your hearts through faith. And I pray that you, being rooted and established in love, may have power, together with all the Lord’s holy people, to grasp how wide and long and high and deep is the love of Christ, and to know this love that surpasses knowledge – that you may be filled to the measure of all the fullness of God.
Now to him who is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us, to him be glory in the church and in Christ Jesus throughout all generations, for ever and ever! Amen.
When you click here scroll down to the 6.30 service.
You'll find it under the date 11 August.
It's about 20 minutes long.
Click here to stream it or download it.
Here's a transcript of the sermon in case you want to read along.
I hope you are enjoying these hymns we’ve been singing this evening. Some of the songs were sung at Alan Caldwell’s funeral.
The Reverend Alan Caldwell, he was my wife’s dad, my father in law until he died in March – just 5 months ago.
The first time I met Alan was in November 1982. Katy and me had been friends for a year or so. One weekend she invited me home to meet her family. They lived in a small village about 10 miles from Ipswich in deepest darkest Suffolk.
I remember the bus we took from the station. It was evening. Very quickly we travelled out of the street lights of Ipswich and plunged into countryside darkness. I peered out of the windows. I couldn’t make out anything at all. A few blurred lights maybe. The bus raced along until suddenly about 20 minutes into the journey Katy suddenly stood up and rung the bell. The bus drew rapidly to a stop.
When I got out I thought we were in the middle of nowhere. I thought I’d landed in a gothic horror story. And then I noticed a dimly lit porch light a little way off. Suddenly we were in the kitchen. They were all there. The Caldwell family with Alan popping in and out with Bibles and bits of paper under his arm.
What I most remember from that first meeting with Alan was the warm and totally accepting welcome I felt from all of them. Phew! This wasn’t a gothic horror story after all. This was Little Women or Pride and Prejudice.
When I look back at that bus journey on that evening to Katy’s family, I think that it was like my life up until that moment. There was nothing but darkness all around me. And then I came into that kitchen. A Christian home filled with light and warmth. I felt accepted and loved right from the start.
One way Alan showed his love and acceptance of me was the way he treated my Jewishness. Being Jewish didn’t really mean much to me back then. I’d had a Bar Mitzvah and I knew the basics. But as I grew up – if I was honest - my Jewishness was a bit of a problem. Firstly we were quite a lonely family. My parents felt a strong sense of being Jewish but never went to the synagogue. And they never mixed with non-Jewish people. Secondly being Jewish in a north west London secondary modern school in the 1970’s wasn’t easy. I was an outsider. Word got around about the boy that didn’t go to morning assembly. The anti-Semitic insults soon followed.
A few years before I met Alan I did meet and made some Jewish friends. They’ve been an amazing support to me over the years even though I became a Christian. We are still all very close.
But despite those friends, Alan reminded me that the Jews were God’s chosen people. He said being Jewish was special. He told me that Jesus was a Jew. He began telling me about how the stories in the Old Testament were linked to the stories about Jesus in the Gospels. At first I didn’t pay much attention. But I remember he invited me to visit a bible exhibition showing what life was like in Palestine when Jesus was alive.
Alan was the first person to show me how important it is to be Jewish. He helped me to value something about myself that I thought totally unimportant.
I think my ministry here at Christ Church has been informed partly by my Jewishness. And I feel comfortable and confident in my Jewish heritage. It was Alan and those Jewish friends who made that possible.
Another really important influence Alan has had on me was how he helped me to love the Bible.
He was passionate about the Bible. He told me how central the Bible is to being in a relationship with God. Before I became a Christian I had loads of discussions with him about the Bible. He always made a point emphasising how the translators of the NIV went back to the original Greek and Hebrew texts. He told me how careful they were in translating the psalms and other Hebrew poems and songs.
Over the years he’d shown me the importance of reading the Bible daily, of meeting people regularly to read and get to know the Bible better. He introduced me to the Amplified Bible and the Chain Reference Bible.
7 years after I first met Alan I began teaching. It was now 1987. I’d become a Christian 2 years earlier in 1985. Alan had baptised me. I attended his Confirmation classes. He prepared me for my Confirmation. Amazingly he gave Katy away at our wedding and then somehow married us both.
So I began a career in teaching. I loved teaching but it was so intense. I remember I found that first long summer holiday difficult to cope with. So when the long summer holiday came work suddenly stopped. I didn’t know what to do with the silence and all that spare time.
Then in the second summer holiday I suddenly remembered the Bible. Every morning after Katy left for work I’d start reading and exploring it. At first I brought my knowledge and experience of studying English. And gradually over the years, I bought a concordance, a chain reference bible, an Amplified Bible, a Bible dictionary and a Dictionary of Theology. And for about 2 or 3 hours each day I explored the holy scriptures. It was an incredible time. I felt the Holy Spirit was with me, guiding my reading. It was very exciting. In the summer holidays before we had our children I really felt I was getting to know the Bible. I found that the routine and discipline helped me structure the long summer days. From then on they became a pleasure and a delight. Alan had helped me discover that.
And it’s good to be reminded of that time again now with Iona and Arran grown up and left home. Especially now that I’ve just retired.
It’s about time I really got stuck into the bible like I did in those summers.
So Alan really helped me read and love the bible. If we ever found ourselves talking about it we almost always disagreed. But he trusted in the Holy Spirit working in my life. Perhaps he had an idea that at some point in the future I might stand in front of a congregation like I am today.
I think he started preparing me for leading a home group or preaching really early on when I’d only been a Christian for a couple of years.
One summer soon after Katy and me got married Alan suggested a sailing holiday. Alan was a very experienced sailor. He’d got certificates and everything. So he was our captain. But we were a pretty motley crew. There was Katy and her sister Helen and me and my mother. A family holiday. I don’t think the crew had any serious sailing experience. Two of us couldn’t even swim. Alan took charge. We obeyed our orders and did our jobs.
He also gave me a special job to do. I was to choose a Bible reading every evening and make then share a few reflections on it.
That holiday was important. Alan was bringing two very different families together. He was building bridges and establishing bonds. Even today Helen and my mum have a special friendship that goes back to that holiday. They still laugh over watching the Port Watch – Katy and me - starting work, while they – the Starboard Watch sitting back and getting out their knitting.
We were pretty hopeless though. We got stranded on sand banks. We made loads of blunders. But it didn’t matter at all. Alan had brought us together. We were a community, a family. We were building memories. We were getting to know each other and sharing difficulties. He showed me – all of us - the importance of a community working together in unity with a common purpose. Like a church.
So these are three stories about Alan Caldwell that show some of the ways he influenced and shaped my Christian life. There’s loads more stories I could share about him. Like the fact that Katy and me settled here in New Malden. We’re here because when Katy was moving to London in 1984 for work, she received one reply from her advert. It came from New Malden. But we stayed here because Alan was a curate here at Christ Church and became Curate in Charge at St John’s between 1969 and 1973 when Katy was a girl. It’s there Alan met Trevor and Sue Webster and introduced them to the church. You can read all about Alan’s time here in the Exhibition Stephen is putting up in the church halls.
So finally I just want to say a couple of things about Alan’s funeral and Bible reading we had.
Alan had a huge influence on my life. I hope I’ve shown that. But of course I’m aware that he also had a massive impact on thousands of people’s lives over the course of his life, and especially in his church ministry.
When Alan’s daughters were planning the funeral at St Mary’s church in Menai Bridge Anglesey they really didn’t know how many people were going to turn up.
Menai Bridge is quite an isolated community. There it is on the north west tip of Wales. Well the response was enormous. The church was packed. Extra chairs were brought in and people were standing at the back and in the aisles.
At the reception afterwards they had to bring in more tables, chairs and provide a lot more tea things for people.
Past pupils came to the funeral. They were people Alan had taught 60 years ago. There were people from the two creative writing groups he had joined when he’d retired. There were people from the local Samaritans. Alan had been an active Samaritan in Menai Bridge right up to the time he was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer last December. There were neighbours, old family friends and parishioners from the parishes he had ministered to over decades – including many of the churches on Anglesey. As well as the parish church he’d worshipped at in Menai Bridge.
It was extraordinary to be a part of that funeral service and to meet so many of the people his life had touched, changed and transformed.
The reading chosen at Alan’s funeral came from Ephesians, chapter 3.
Iona – my daughter – Alan’s grand daughter read it at the funeral.
Alan’s daughters chose Ephesians because this was Alan’s favourite book of the Bible. When Alan was training to be a minister at Oakhill College in 1965, alongside Stephen’s dad, Gordon Kuhrt and John Short, Alan joined an early morning Bible study. They studied Ephesians. Alan got to know the letter really well.
And this is just an incredible passage to read. It’s a prayer in which Paul hopes that God will bless his readers by bestowing on them the ability – that is the discipline and will power - to enable faith in Jesus to live and flourish in his readers lives. And to know the vastness of God’s love for each of them.
As Alan studied this passage he must have felt Paul writing to him directly. And as Alan read this passage year in year out throughout his ministry he must have prayed it for us - his family including me and all the people and parishioners he knew and ministered to over many years.
It’s a prayer he would pray for all of us.
When I think about Alan now just 5 months after his death, I think I’ve been blessed by having 3 father’s in my life. There’s my biological dad – Martin - who brought me up. There’s also Michael Denman – he’s the consultant immunologist who treated me, saved my life back in 1976 and lead me back into education. And then finally Alan Caldwell. I never was able to call Alan dad or father but I owe much of my Christian life to him. He baptised me. He brought me to confirmation. He even gave Katy away at our wedding and then married us.
Alan had a huge impact on my life.
I thank God for him.
I miss him.
