Wednesday, 15 June 2005
This is the first half hour when I got home. I’m arranging for the gas people to connect us to a gas pipe. This took ages – hanging on – listening to Vivaldi. My wife started telling me about her meeting. A knock at the door, my sister-in-law and her dog distributing presents to the children – their birthday, and a moving in present – we move on Monday – stress, and she wants to talk. My son wants to play outside. A phone call invites my daughter on holiday this summer – decision time. Another call about canoeing and lifts there and back this evening.
Tuesday, 14 June 2005
The tensions are growing. We feel we have achieved and done a lot of packing. My wife’s instinct is to relax and slow down. Mine is to work harder as the moving date approaches. I’m beginning to feel the burden of the physical work is falling onto me. My wife is going out to meetings and having long family phone conversations. I was desperate to get days off work so we could move but now I’ve decided I won’t bother. We talked about it and she seems to understand - although she’s having another one of those conversations right now.
Monday, 13 June 2005
After I dropped the children at school I drove to Richmond Park and sat on my favourite bench looking out over woods and grassland towards Ham. I sat still, back straight, eyes closed, breathed in slow, counting, breathed out slow, counting. I named and welcomed all I could hear, a sudden gust of wind in the trees, the cars on the distant ring road, the sound of a dog passing and women talking as they walked behind me. And of course the birds, crows in the oaks behind me and parakeets squabbling close by. Fifteen minutes, deep rhythm flowing, survival.
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